I wrote this piece on the way home from Washington D.C. It isn't yet completed, but I thought I'd let you have some insight about the past semester. I hope that I might convey these thoughts in further detail in the future.
On my way home.
I just completed the Spring 2006 semester of the American Studies Program. Yesterday was my last day of work with the Congressman’s office.
Currently as I fly back to Seattle, there are a number of ideas that have caused me to become introspective and contemplative. This semester has raised so many questions and brought a few answers for me to think about. I hope that I might be able to share them with you.
Yesterday evening was one of my favorite evenings in my life. Our program hosted a farewell dinner. We started at 6 with an amazing dinner, some entertainment, and a devotion. Yet, the most impacting portion of evening was when we were each handed our certificates of completion. One by one, each of the 29 individuals in the program that were left were asked to stand on a platform in the front of the room. My colleagues offered the most beautiful statements of affirmation to each other. I am humbled by their statements and the love that was displayed yesterday evening.
At the end of the evening, my seminar advisor, Bret, gave the concluding remarks. Before I make a poor attempt to give a summary of what was said, I must express my gratitude for him. This semester was Bret’s last semester at the American Studies Program. He is a passionate and caring individual who seeks justice in all situations. His love for teaching truly shows when he speaks. His wife and children are beautiful individuals. I am so very thankful for him and his family.
Bret’s remarks yesterday evening began with the statement which I can attest to. He said something to the effect that “the American Studies Program seeks to rub the noses of its students in the shit of the world.” Throughout the past four months, I have smelled a lot of shit. From the homeless on the streets, the slaughtered in Rwanda, Uganda and Sudan, the plight of the unheard, and the death of five beautiful lives at Taylor University – the bad of the world has been brought up again and again.
The world is a depressing place when you know. Steve Garber, author of a number of books and once a faculty member at the American Studies Program, wrote a wonderful piece called “But We don’t Blink.” In this short one page article, Garber presents the thesis that if you know, you care. Thus, you are responsible. “To know is to care is to be responsible.”
Garber’s thoughts have provided great insight to my thoughts prior to coming to the program. Having been part of the Debate Team and Debate Society, much of my extracurricular time was spent researching events happening throughout the world. I gathered a lot of information. Unfortunately, it was just information. Just information does not change the fact that the children of God are suffering. Yet, action does change that fact. When I realized this, I tried to implement great change on the campus of Northwest University. As President of Debate Society, I tried to 1) increase knowledge of suffering, 2) promote action among students. Needless to say, there were a number of nights after these meetings that I came back to my dorm room or apartment and felt completely dejected because of lack of interest. This feeling was not a feeling of dejection for the meetings. Rather, it was a result of grief because I quickly came to the realization that I cannot change the world. So I deceived myself. I made myself believe that the world could be changed as a result of my actions. The harder I worked, the better life would be for all. Even our first seminar in the program illustrated my self-deception. Each of my colleagues and I were to tell the class why we decided to come to Washington, D.C. I said that I wanted to change the world.
What do you do when you are responsible but cannot rectify the problem? How am I supposed to solve the problems of the suffering? I am merely a student with no money and no influence. I can’t. I really can’t. But, I think I can be reassured. It’s already been done. All I have to do is be faithful.
We need not worry about the food we eat nor the clothes we will wear tomorrow. Because the kingdom of God has come. Redemption is here. Our program director, Jerry Herbert used the example of WWII. Germany was defeated on D-day and not on VE-day. While VE-day has not come yet, D-day (the true defeat) has come. All that is necessary now is the clean up. Evil has been defeated and restoration is happening.
The hope that lies in the beauty of the biblical story is glorious. I think that I’ve gathered that my responsibility as a Christian is only to be faithful to this hope that is offered. Regardless of what I do or where I am, faithfulness to the hope that is here is principal.
I have a beautiful, intelligent, and courageous friend named Jess. During one of our last class sessions when we were discussing the issue of the kingdom of God, she brought up a concern that I am indebted to her about. She expressed how she could not understand how as Christians we could tell the people of Sudan (or any suffering community or individual for that matter) that the kingdom of God has come if they are still suffering. How can we be so bold-faced and arrogant to not be in suffering and tell our fellow children of God that it is ok because the kingdom of God has come?
I don’t think I’ve fully gotten an answer for that yet.
There you have it. I'll try to get this answer soon. In the meantime, pray that I might muster up some thought about the rest of my life.
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